Friday, July 29, 2011


I dreamed of the fire from back when I was a kid, last night. I wasn't even conscious, so how can I remember it? I didn't, until now. And that's the truth of it. I just had a full-sensory dream of a fire, at least. Not ours. Ours was caught. I'm like a walking cliche,  mentioning childhood fires, but some things are adding up. Damn. The official reason was lightning and only the attic got taken out, though.

I woke up about an hour and a half ago, half strangled, with Marie in a tizz. Apparently I'd clawed the facemask off in my sleep again, reopening the scratches from last time and causing the strangling sensation. Next time something like that happens, WAKE ME UP, Marie. On the plus side, I'm not having a breakdown like last time, though I've been crying off and on for no definable reason since I woke up. I guess that's a good thing?

I saw someone outside just a moment ago, but I'm not going to bother speculating as to who at the moment. I imagine Crispy will be back at some point with backup... I'm honestly surprised there hasn't been taunting and junk already. Isn't that how these things go? All sarcasm aside, yeah, I'm freaked out, I'm terrified... I can't even begin to describe how some of these things are getting to me, but I'm not sure why parts of what's going on are just making me more... stubborn, I guess is the right word.

I give up on trying to hide how I'm feeling, but I'll be working against those feelings as much as I can.

I'm just an Art College drop-out. Why? I've been alone other than Marie for two years now. I'm tired.


  1. Some artists paint truth. What do you paint? Attempts to fool yourself? Some protector you'll turn out to be.

  2. Great, the first yelp from the peanut gallery.

    I may be turning anonymous comments off if this keeps up. Which means I need to make Marie an account, considering she refuses to do so for herself.

    Either way, we'll see.

  3. I'm... happy you wound up okay. For once, the snark is at a low. -sigh-