Radio Silence

We exist. We're not dead. Funny, that. It's been an interesting little time, playing the game that isn't a game.
This is not a game.
This is not a game.
This is not a game.
The mantra of an ARGer, now become real. We've all seen that. We've more than seen that. We've been helping where we can. Maybe we've been lying a bit too low. Watching, waiting, listening.

It's almost funny to some, I feel sure. Like a butterfly on a pin, struggling. Even if it manages to get free, it's not going to survive. That's what people think they see. Maybe it's better sometimes to let people keep those perceptions.

We hang on, we laugh. We find life and make the most of it. To live is an awfully big adventure, after all. We dance, play, fight, run, sing, and learn.

An uninterrupted sleep is rare and valuable commodity.

We cry. We have lost people, and we will probably continue to do so. Cutting ourselves off from others isn't going to prevent that. Oh, we've seen some of the things going on recently, and they're unpleasant as heck. Does that mean we sould lie down and bare our throats?

There are always so many paths that can be taken. sure, it's easiest to follow certain ones, but we must do what we can, I suppose.

Hopefully, we'll be posting a bit more, soon. Things have been hectic recently, working on things.

Sleep is for the weak and tired

I never knew where he went or how his afternoons were spent.
He said he had to slay a dragon, kill a giant, fix a wagon.
Wage a war, feed the world, and stamp out sin.
In the daytime he was never in.

Thank you for you input, Jared. Utterly.

Honestly, I almost find it a little amusing how each of us deals with our not wanting to sleep much. I nap. Little cat-naps every so often. Too long and you start to dream too much. Tia, she just keeps going until she utterly crashes. Usually a few days before having to sleep for most of a day, too exhausted to do anything else. Kailin? I actually haven't seen zer sleep much in general. At least not soundly. Jared... I haven't picked up on his patterns yet. Erratic behavior.

Not exactly healthy. We try to get enough rest, though. Enough so that if something happens, we can at least make an attempt at dealing with it.

It's been weird, getting used to having Jared around again. The last time I saw him was on that day in January, six years ago. When he made me promise to look after Marie. By that point, I already thought of her like the little sister I'd never have. And yes, maybe it's cruel of me to blame him for that. Wrong to blame him for being caught up in all of this. For getting me caught up in this.

It's not fair to him.

I know that. He was seventeen at the time. Most people don't exactly have the very best decision-making skills as a teenager. Especially Jared.

We met through Doctor Chavez. Well, at his office. And as I've said, we made friends. Amusingly, yes, there almost was something between us, but well. I was fourteen at the time when we first met. It wasn't long after certain incidents... We would have been bad for each other, and we knew it. So we decided to be friends.

Honestly, we didn't see much of each other in school. Jared... He was the class clown, to fall back on high school archetypes. I was me. Until Tia moved into town, he was one of the few friends I had at school, even if he was more the popular type. Unlike Tia, however, his tactics for helping me usually involved distracting whoever was messing with me at the time. Unless things got too bad.

Unfortunately, we didn't have too many classes together.

The thing that bothers me the most is that his parents  told us that he committed suicide a few days after I spoke with him that day in January. That he'd shot himself. The funeral was closed-casket. But obviously... Obviously he's still alive and kicking.

Why would they cover that up? Heck, how would they cover that up?

I feel sure he knows at least a bit, but I'm not sure if we'll ever know all the details, with his parents and Marie now dead. my fault

As a closing note, with a little help, we've found someone for Tia to see. The kid's got a few connections, apparently. I'm painting still. Also, that girl's back. As are other... oddness. Guess things are getting back to "normal".

Another note

Hey, babes.


It's been pretty damn interesting, talking to the girls again for the first time in ever. Lis snuck a kick to my shin once Tia let her free the other night.  Now, was that really fucking called for, sweetheart?


Probably.


I have to say, I was right about one thing. Lis cares too damn much, sometimes. Not gonna say that's always a bad thing, but when you're crying over what some asshole you've never met or talked to's bitch-fit of a blog post, it gets a little silly. Makes me want to wring his neck, which is idiotic in its own right.

Yeah, I called you silly, babe. Got an issue with it? Let's go, then. Right, anyway.  Gotta be like a duck. Let the shit slide off your back. Duck in a rainstorm. Remember that, sweetie. Because it's a big-ass storm and we're just little things walking against the wind.

Tia... Tia's numb and angry.  Understandably. But we've been talking a bit. "Oh? You hit things? I hit things. Okay, let's be bros again." Heavy paraphrasing there. Of course it wasn't that simple. She's in a freaking territorial mood, even though she's the one who let me in the hotel room in the first place. Makes a lot of sense, babe.


Kailin, well now. First of all, no matter what zie says, I'm not wanting to tap that, no matter how nice you can look. Just clearing that up from the post zie did at the hospital. Not my type, anyway. You're a little too young for me, kid. Unless, well...


Someone asked me what I've been up to, in that lat post's comments section. That ever-so-lovely-and-endearing Miss Amy.  Now note, darling that I did not explicitly make any "demands". That would just be unpersonable of me. I was just meeting up with a few old school chums who are in a rough spot and needed some help. Yeah?

Yeah. 


As to what I've been doing, I guess the easiest thing would be to say traveling. Since "glorified hobo" doesn't fit your needs. I'm pretty good at fitting people's needs, though. When I have to. 


Honestly, running is less the way to describe what I've done. What people are really doing, when it's from something that can find you with whatever passes for a thought for it. It's better that waiting around with your thumb up your ass once you realize there's more out there, though.  Well, I suppose people do run from the servitors thralls, pawns, proxies, whatever they call themselves at any given time.


I'm not sure what would have happened If what happened to me if I had stayed home after I heard them talking that time. After seeing the void and it seeing me. If what happened with Marie is any clue, maybe I wasn't quite a target. At least not by mister squid-orgy in a three piece suit. Or maybe I was. Maybe it's cat and mouse and I was just a bargaining chip that went missing.


Bargaining is bullshit.


But that's beside the point. What matters is the here and now, right? Exactly.  Happy May Day, kids.


Peace out, Girl Scouts.

Overthinking everything

"The aim of art is to represent not the outward appearance of things, but their inward significance."

It's funny, sometimes, that feeling on the edge of consciousness, when your mind is open and you're reflecting on things. You know you're unworthy. Unworthy of love, unworthy of attention, unworthy of the thing which you attempt to fool yourself with by calling it freedom. You are no more than a speck if dust in the wind in the grand scheme of things.
People call me an optimist. I'm not. I just choose. I just choose to see the fragments of light and color. Everything is faceted and everything has its reflections. Things change. I've changed, I guess. I'm still scared. I don't think I'll ever be not-scared.

Maybe I'm fooling myself by feeling I have a choice, but honestly, I've nearly lost myself enough times by now to know there's at least a tipping point. Everything has a tipping point.

I'm not alone now... That helps. When you're alone, your mind has nowhere to go but out, spreading and spreading, seeing the worst and the best. Sure, He's still there, there are still murmurs and shadows and things and people-who-think-they-aren't-lost, but somehow, even if numbers aren't safe in some ways, it's better than that racing, rambling, lost, scattered feeling. I'm not alone, I am wanted, I am loved, quit your humming and go away. I want spring to come now, please. You are not Mine, and I am not Yours.

It's something to focus on other than the light and flickers of color and sensation. People who sense things without synesthesia are actually a grounding influence on me sometimes. I mean, it's interesting for art, but it would be so easy to drift away sometimes in a haze of light.

Sorry... Sorry, I'm fine, I just needed to ramble a bit. Yay, monologuing. I think a lot of people know that feeling, these days. Anyway, I'm okay, Tia's fine... And Kailin's being Kailin.

Emails, emails, emails. I've been getting some odd ones recently. Temporary email accounts? Really? Well, for one of the people, the one who won't tell me who he is. I've got some suspicions, though. The others are from our dear, dear Shep. Honestly, I don't think I've ever met a more condescending jerk. And yes, I do still blame him for the stuff with Marie and Blake. Not as much as I blame myself, of course. But I mean... I've had time to think about things. What I could've done differently.

I know there's things about the Sinclairs that I'd been unaware of while living in Alabama. I mean, considering some of the junk that's happened surrounding that family. Nicking Marie's journal has shown me that much. There aren't too many things notable enough to be posted, but there are definite hints of things not having been completely on the level. I might start working on transcribing parts of it again, though, when I'm not busy with painting, driving, or working. There's a few interesting bits, though the vast majority of it is just normal, teenagery stuff. It's just too bad that there's nobody else from them that I could ask, I suppose.

Not now, though. Now I need to Focus on something else. Something less... something.

Too quiet, well not really

Haven't posted in a little bit, mostly because we're still getting used to each other. It's sort of odd having a third person around again. Things are pretty much the same in a lot of ways, though. Lack of sleep, stress, talking about the most random things late into the night as a distraction, working on the computers for hours (at least on my and Tia's parts). I've been painting a bit again. Most of them aren't all that good. It's mostly an outlet.

Painting's something I started back in high school. Initially as a therapy sort of thing. Doctor Chavez suggested it, and I ended up really loving it as something to do and to keep myself occupied. Painting is something that's just easy to Focus on. So I keep painting and turning out things. Is is weird that I really miss Doctor Chavez still? I mean, I don't know... The guy's been my therapist off and on since I was fourteen, so I guess it makes a little sense that I'd gotten attached.

Anyway, we've been doing a bit of moving about over the last week. Kailin's actually healing up a a reasonable rate, which I'm glad of. Those burns were some of the worst I've seen in a while. There are other, older scars, but that's zer story to tell, not mine.

Also, is it weird to be thinking up baby names for a kid that's not even mine? Just kind of wondering.

And yeah, we're not getting complacent. Every time things look good is when you should be on watch the most. I think we've learned that by now.

Guess who showed up?

Shaun met up with us today. I've been talking to him a bit, and since he was apparently getting restless at Bondie's I figured I'd invite him to spend Christmas and maybe a little time after with us. I didn't want him spending the holidays streeting it, especially this far north, so yeah. Here we are. It's nice to see him again, and Tia definitely agrees.

I'm getting a few things ready for tomorrow. It's been a while since I've had much to look forward to on Christmas. Crossing my fingers that I can allow myself to now, even with everything.

Firewood and Christmas Lights

It's cold here, Lissie told no lies. It's a bit chilly. I might be understating. I might have woken up to see snow lining our window. It's quite lovely. Lissie thinks it's... "shenanagins." I'm not going to complain, however. I like getting in snowball fights with strangers young and old. I like making snowmen and snowangels and the snow sculptors who emerge early on these mornings.
So out I went.
Played I did.
Dragged Lissie along kicking and screaming (I kid, she only protested so much. Giving her cocoa lightened her mood by miles).
Despite the cold on my nose and the chill on my cheeks, there was that smell of warmth in the air. Like firewood for the chimney and the charcoal the wood will inevitably become. The smell of freshed cooked meals and cinnamon in your cocoa and ginger in your cookies. It smelled warm.
The friendliness of christmas wasn't just trees in the windows and lights on the houses. It was there too, but it was in the hellos and the friendly waves and the red sweaters and the scarves wrapped twice around your neck for extra warmth. It was everywhere, just like Lissie's said. It was in the snowflake that fell just on the tip of my tongue and melted away. Fresh and cool and welcoming.
We're doing well, we're doing surprisingly well. Even if the snow's melted by now - it'll be back later. So will we. Promise. Even in all the dark on the outside, right now we've got ourselve protected with Christmas lights and firewood. We're doing just fine.

I warned you never trust those elves!

Very much to his disliking,
Santa spends all night hitch-hiking.
With a sign that reads, "Ho ho slow down,"
Santa Claus is thumbing to town.

Every car just drove right past him,
And sped right out of sight.
Santa never got to ask them
To drive around the world in just one night.

It's weird that even here, all the way across the country from the place I've called home for years, with a sense of foreboding always present, in a hotel surrounded by strangers, even here it's starting to feel like Christmas. I've been doing some baking to keep myself occupied and distracted, and it's been... nice. At least here.

Sure, as I've said, there's always that presence, that need to look over your shoulder because there's something there. But you can't let that cripple you. I've been sick as a dog over the last few days, which really is not fun with still-healing ribs. I'm dealing with it and Tia's been looking after me, though.

 It's funny, these moments where things honestly feel almost normal. You can't revel in those moments for long, of course. Complacency is an enemy just as much as anything tangible is.  But you treasure these moments. You treasure them, and when things are dark, you look back on them. You look back on them and say: "Oh, that's why. That's why I'm persevering."

It's been oh gosh, six or so years since the last time Tia and I spent Christmas together. It's funny, being around someone who you don't even really have to talk to make things work. It's just comfortable. We know eachother and it just meshes sometimes. There's been christmas songs playing off and on in the hotel room we're staying in. Not complacency, just making the most of the moments we have.

I've been fretting over people, of course. I always do. It seems to be my normal mode of being. Worrying over people I've both met, and people I've never even gotten the nerve to speak to. That's always going to be an issue, I think. No matter what, I'm just... shy and feel like I can offer nothing of value to people's situations.

Then there's the dreams. They're more of the same, really. Nothing that most people wouldn't expect, given the situation, I guess. They've just gotten worse due to the meds, maybe. While I really dislike the meds I'm on, they do make matters easier, and it gives Tia one less thing to worry about.

Anyway, I have to figure out how to do Chritmas shopping for people that I have no idea of their locations or if my own location will be steady. Mrf.

To Conclude

A genius with electronics had arrived at Hope when I was looking through the Helikite, whose name I later found was Alex, one of Elaine's rescues. He's a real wiz though. Found a camera on the kite, and it would've taken me twice as much time to decode all that nonsense that was on it. Little thing tried to crash my built like a solid block of concrete laptop.

That was cute.

Not to worry though, we managed to figure out the files and see what all was captured. It was interesting to unlock and everything, but I really didn't care for what we found on it. And I don't think that needs much more clarification.

It's in Elaine's hands, and she's capable enough to take care of it. So we're going back to normal socializing and such here for a while.

Tia's invaded Lissie's for a bit, after Marie's post this morning she wasn't feeling so hot. I'm going back to working from home now and finishing this program I had on hold whilst I finished the camera project.

So that's pretty much it.

Oh, and tomorrow Tia and I have 3 years behind us. So there's something special I have planned. Should be fun.

Glitz and Glam

Blake and I got to have a fancy, lovely, quality time sort of date tonight. It was rather sweet, actually. We got to go into the city to see Wicked, and it was really quite the production, nothing short of what I expected. I could do a whole review of the, but if you wanted one of those, you'd go to a review site or search up the theatre and figure it out from there.

I got to dress up in a pretty gown with some slink to it and Blake was all fancied up in suit and tie. There was dinner at a high-class Italian restaurant and just simple conversation and romance. It's been a long, long time since we were able to have time like that.

Elaine gave us the tickets his opportunity, and I'm all manner of grateful. I haven't felt so peaceful in a long, long time. Hope has been good for me. No, Hope's been good for us, let's not make this all about me. Elaine decided to start holding sparring sessions in the evenings before dinner, so that's going to be good for me, no need to fall out of practice after all. And it's a different sort of socializing. I pair off with her almost decently when it comes to barehanded fights.

There was an incident here at Hope the other day. Yes, I suppose I did lug around a Skin-and-Bones sort of boy. For now, it's been taken care of and I suppose he's come a bit out of it. That's for the better.

On a slightly more positive note, I've started a garden here at Hope. Something to give back for all the positive there's been here. I'm keeping my hands busy in our down time. I'm not about to complain though: downtime is a good thing.

A Taste of Normalcy

Lissie and I went into town today - for the first time in months we had some quality, just us time. She is my longest friend you know, it's not as though that comes without any bonding time. I did miss Lissie time when I was living in California, you know it's not the same with phone calls and skype chats.


So we went out to eat at a fanciful restaurant with menus that had no prices on the listings and spoiled ourselves silly. We even dared to eat dessert. It was a bold night for us, but that butterscotch cheesecake was beyond worth it. So were the ribs. I have no regrets, even if my wallet does.


Then we hung out in a cafe until closing and just people watched for a couple hours. There was this mother and daughter pair and the girl was still in her softball cleats and she was all manner of sort of adorable. Sometimes I feel like such a freakin' breeder. I'm okay with that most days. Other days the idea of smallish me-spawn is terrifying.


And we talked about everything. It's been such a long time since we've gone from a topic like the best flavor whipped cream to politics to relationships and feelings. It was good to get things out and in the open, including the scarier bits of our situation. She's better at all the understanding bits about Him, I've never been the best at research, but she is. Thank heavens for that, because otherwise I'm sure we'd all be dead.


Yay for not being dead and still being able to joke about blueberry flavored punch or gingerbread houses or Sir Boll Weevil and his trusty sidekick the Dustbunny.

Slightly Delirious Posting

Rough coughing nightly
This sickness is far from kind
Feel like vomitting.


*


Barely left the inn
Total bill for our take-out?
Way too goddamn high.


*


Need to make money
Working on a few edits.
Writer's annoy me.


*


Be positive T,
Try to look on the bright side
...Is there a bright side?


*


I don't know why I felt the need to write my current state of mind in depressive and dire haiku. It seemed like a good idea ay the time. Of course, I'm still in a half sleep daze, so clearly I'm not the best judge of what's a good idea and what's not.

Just keep on rolling

We're in a new hotel in a new town in a new state. Saw our favorite burn victim lurking around the other night and we decided it was time to move on. Hello again, Crispy. I don't know if you have a name or some sort of designation, and at this point, I frankly don't care.

A note about the previous post, the one from from whoever is using Marie's account. When I came rushing back home from college due to my mother's wreck and having to deal with all of that, I looked for our old photo albums. I turned the whole house upside down looking for them. They were't there. Three photo albums and approximately four hundred pictures, just missing. I thought my mom got rid of them due to certain events, but I guess I was wrong.I honestly don't want to have been wrong, because that just... Well, it adds another, different sort of creepy to the mix, doesn't it?

It's something that needs to be pursued, but right now, we're just focusing on getting by and dealing with the day to day insanities of this situation. Tall Dark and Creepy's been around as well, usually just watching. There one second and gone the next, like some sort of trick of the eye. Except you know by now that it isn't. You know by now that the things you see moving in the edges of your vision are at times real, and you know that they can see more of you than you can even see of yourself.

But you just keep going and keep resisting, because that's what counts some days. The ability to be stubborn and rebel against the roles you are set in. The ability to fight against the supposed fate somoeone has laid into your path. Maybe free will, as some claim, is an illusion, but you  cling to it with all of your might, and fight for it. You fight for the things that matter, the things that are worth something. If you're lucky, maybe you find those things that matter enough to fight for.

...Look at me, getting all psuedo-philosophical. Sweet baby Jesus on a pogo stick, I need to shut up before I dig myself a bigger hole to lie down in. Not like anyone gives a care about my ramblings.

Tia and Blake are keeping an even closer eye on me than usual after last night. I'm... I'm fine. For a given value of fine. I dreamed again last night, and woke up on a scream, drenched in sweat and my face covered in blood. Self-inflicted bleeding, at least. I clawed the facemask off in my sleep again and sliced open my cheek. It's not deep, just annoying...

I'm not sure why people read this, at the moment, but thanks for those who do care on one level or another. Really, it means more than you know. In fact, I barely know how to read. I don't even know what I'm typing right now. I'm just hitting random letters and punctuation and hoping it fools everyone fishcakes; saddlebag me dingo.

The jig, it is up.

Yeah. I've got to go. Feeling sick again, and I have some work to do and music to listen to.

Story Time

Here's a story boys and girls. Pull up a pillow and let's talk.

I didn't used to be this puling, quivering, worthless wreck I tend to be at times, and the fact of the matter is, most of that has nothing to do with our pale-faced friend. It's a funny world like that. Unlike seemingly a lot of people involved with this stuff, as far as I know, I was a pretty darn normal kid. Well, for a certain value of "normal". A bit precocious at times, but hey, that's life.

I did Girl Scouts, Ballet, and even 4-H. I was in the band and played clarinet in middle school and high school. I wore frilly dresses and gave my mother conniptions by climbing trees and playing in ditches in said frilly dresses. I went hunting with my father... Not in the frilly dresses. I miss how things were back then, of course. I hadn't met Tia at that point though, so that's one thing I don't miss.

Heck, I even did pageants some when I was little. A shocker, I know. It was kind of fun, actually. At least up to a point. Except for the time I got kicked out of one. One of the little tiara-hogs was being a bully to one of the other girls because it was her first pageant, and the kid had braces, so I "accidentally" spilled some juice on the brat's pretty little rabbit-fur coat. Honestly, who needs furs in the area of the country I'm from, anyway?

Miss Priss got really quiet for a moment, an then started screaming at me and tried to claw me. I'm not ashamed to say that I punched her, right in the nose. And that's when everything fell apart on a spectacular level and mom and I got kicked out of the civic center until the pageant was over. She was a bully and totally deserved it, though.

...I wish I had half the guts now that I did as a kid. I'm not a fighter. I'm barely even a survivor. And as odd as it sounds, if not for this turn of events, I'd be very, very alone. Wow, that's selfish. Maybe that would be for the better, though. My dad got laid off, things happened, my parents divorced. My mom was in a severe car wreck and died. For obvious reasons, it's not fun to talk about. I don't have many big, dramatic reveals to show, like some of the others I've seen, but I don't know anymore. I don't know.


~Don't look back
Keep your head held high
Don't ask them why
Because life is short
And before you know
You're feeling old
And your heart is breaking
Don't hold on to the past~

Sparks

I got rid of some of the paintings today. Burned them in the little fire pit in the back yard. It was an oddly cathartic feeling, though I had to be careful of the fumes. They're a waste of space, anyway. Funny, that. A waste of space making things that waste space. Tia's not going to like that assertion. Marie's been spacing out worse today, but I've been talking to her and keeping an eye on her. I've been finding more little notes tucked around the house with ominous crypticness on them, but the scanner is acting up again, so I won't bother trying to post them at the moment. I will say this, though. I don't recognize the handwriting, and some of them seem fairly old.

It's been nice having Tia and Blake here, really. Even though it's someone else to worry about. I don't personally know Blake very well, but he seems nice enough. Yes, I'm "talking" like he or Tia might not read this, but I'm trying to be candid here. I may shy away from expressing things verbally at times, but this is where I'm trying to be more real. Oddly enough, I don't think either of them have been directly effected by this yet, even with having come down here. If they have, neither one is saying anything yet.

Hopelessness is an aspect of this situation that I've already started to feel. There's a sort of sense of inevitability at times, even when nothing big is happening. And now that I've said that, something big is likely to happen. That's the way these things seem to work.  I've been working past that, of course, though there are very real legal issues with heading out of the area right now, considering our little group. And yes, I know there are ways to avoid some of the problems, but in the end, it would still look like abduction of a minor. With the few kids who have gone missing in the last few months, I really don't want it thought that I could have done those as well.  If something happens, it's going to be my fault, either way.

I've been forcing myself to eat and stay rested, though half the time it's hard to keep things down. It's not as bad as before, but most foods taste like they're seriously burned or ashy. I know I look terrible, even though Tia's been mostly nice about it.  It's funny, because isn't losing weight what every 20-something female wants? And I've even got a tall, pale, mysterious stalker. *swoon* Oh, and if you couldn't tell, that was full of tangible sarcasm.

I don't even know why I'm writing this anymore.

Storms

It's been.... nice, since Tia showed up, which probably means things are going to go down the shitter on one level or another fairly soon.
But anyway, it's just calmer here with someone other than just Lis and her huge mood-swings.
At least her manicness is directed toward a productive source, though she's said that of course she could never attempt to sell any of the paintings that are currently piling up in her studio room.
Blake's cute, by the way....
I know, I know.
Creepy.
He's taken, and in his twenties.
But hey, I'm allowed to notice, just like I'm allowed to notice a few other things.


Apparently, I went missing for about thirty minutes earlier, and freaked everyone out a bit.
I remember going out to the utility room, looking out of the window of the back door, and then suddenly I was sitting in the grass in the back yard and it was raining.
I didn't have any blood on me or anything creepifying like that, and I doubt anything happened, either way.
Elisa's worried, of course.
She's back on the research thing, looking up "missing time" and such.
Tia and Blake are apparently still a bit skeptical, but Tia, at least, is humoring her.
I still think she should write up some of the things she's compiled for people to read, but she says it's just collected thoughts on different stories she's read on blogs and such, and not anything really original.
Anyway, I should go.
The thunder's really getting to me, and I'm having a little trouble typing properly.

-Marie

Whose Awesome? I am.

So I apparently put Lissie in an ice cream coma. She slept for like the past 4 hours. I win. At life.

Cozy

Yep. That's what I'd call this place. Cozy. At least there's still privacy.


Also, yaaaay I missed having Lissie about. Talked lots of nonsense this day about random happenstances and life and there may have been binging on ice cream. I have no regrets. Even if it wasn't the "healthiest" of hellos. Oh well, there are worse ways to get reacquainted with old friends.


So much unpacking to do. And so much more procrastination.


Can't deny it, Lissie's no more unstable than she ever was. She could -look- a little healthier though. Talk about bags under ye eyes.


I still think the forest out here is creepy. I guess some things never change. Not taking any late night walks here boyo.

Cryptic Short Blog Post Aside

I meant to post a longer bit earlier when I had the net in my tiny, shithole of a hotel. But that didn't work out. Net cut out on us. So I have it back again, here's a more complete update:


Blake and I sit about 9 hours driving distance away now. But we need sleep. We drove way too long today. All together about 18 hours, stopping only at the fastest of food joints and for the quickest of bathroom breaks. Also, we got a little mixed up in New Mexico, but it only set us back about an hour and a half. We aim to leave 6 am tomorrow, so we should, travelling forward in time, arrive about 4 pm Lissie's time. Just so everyone knows.


My family's having an utter freak out and setting my cell on fire with voice mail and text messages. See, they're a settled kind of people now that Dad's out of the service and me moving with little to no heads up and moving so far away, they're a little unsettled. Grandma especially. She wants grandbabies. And to be able to raise them. Nooooot gonna happen anytime soon is what I'm sayin'.


Blake's family, on the other hand, is being really quite relaxed about it. Then again, his extended family equals a third of mine and they're all rather distant anyhow. I envy that in some ways.


I'm kind of anxious. I don't know why the thought of heading back to Alabama makes me so anxious, but it does. I had the trippiest dreams last night. I can't really recall all the details, but everything was in grayscale and distorted. It was just weird. Haven't dreamt in a long time. I think I'll chalk my nervousness up to the dreaming.

En Route

I'm on my way to Alabama to see if Lissie's unstable. I posted in my blog, but since this largely pertains to Liss, I'm also going to post it here. as well.