Saturday, September 17, 2011

Story Time

Here's a story boys and girls. Pull up a pillow and let's talk.

I didn't used to be this puling, quivering, worthless wreck I tend to be at times, and the fact of the matter is, most of that has nothing to do with our pale-faced friend. It's a funny world like that. Unlike seemingly a lot of people involved with this stuff, as far as I know, I was a pretty darn normal kid. Well, for a certain value of "normal". A bit precocious at times, but hey, that's life.

I did Girl Scouts, Ballet, and even 4-H. I was in the band and played clarinet in middle school and high school. I wore frilly dresses and gave my mother conniptions by climbing trees and playing in ditches in said frilly dresses. I went hunting with my father... Not in the frilly dresses. I miss how things were back then, of course. I hadn't met Tia at that point though, so that's one thing I don't miss.

Heck, I even did pageants some when I was little. A shocker, I know. It was kind of fun, actually. At least up to a point. Except for the time I got kicked out of one. One of the little tiara-hogs was being a bully to one of the other girls because it was her first pageant, and the kid had braces, so I "accidentally" spilled some juice on the brat's pretty little rabbit-fur coat. Honestly, who needs furs in the area of the country I'm from, anyway?

Miss Priss got really quiet for a moment, an then started screaming at me and tried to claw me. I'm not ashamed to say that I punched her, right in the nose. And that's when everything fell apart on a spectacular level and mom and I got kicked out of the civic center until the pageant was over. She was a bully and totally deserved it, though.

...I wish I had half the guts now that I did as a kid. I'm not a fighter. I'm barely even a survivor. And as odd as it sounds, if not for this turn of events, I'd be very, very alone. Wow, that's selfish. Maybe that would be for the better, though. My dad got laid off, things happened, my parents divorced. My mom was in a severe car wreck and died. For obvious reasons, it's not fun to talk about. I don't have many big, dramatic reveals to show, like some of the others I've seen, but I don't know anymore. I don't know.

~Don't look back
Keep your head held high
Don't ask them why
Because life is short
And before you know
You're feeling old
And your heart is breaking
Don't hold on to the past~


  1. I'm so sorry. I wish you'd had the chance to keep living your normal life, though I wish it hadn't taken such a shitty turn.

  2. I think making friends with Jared back in high school cemented it. Though as I said, I honestly have to wonder. It's like building a web of possibilities and seeing where the points all match up, right now. Does that make any sense? Because what if accidents aren't accidents?

    Great. Now I sound paranoid and such. Probably a reasonable thing, given what's been going on.

    So, the first tangible evidence I have of things flying out of whack is 2006. Marie was eleven or so then, so that fits a few things. I'm going to check some other things out, though.

  3. An yeah, but if wishes were fishes... something, something something.

    That got away from me, big time.