Why did I let them out? Why didn't I go out with them, not that it would have made any difference? He killed one of my dogs. That thing, in the time it took me to get things together to make tea, killed one of my dogs and left the head on the back stoop. Or threw it at the door. One or the other. I didn't see it. I came home from work, let the dogs out, and went to go make tea. The dogs started barking, and I thought maybe it was the hoodie guy again, but apparently I was wrong. By the time I got to the back door, Patch was whining and cowering as he scratched at it, terrified, and there was a sudden yelp cut off and a thud, freaking Patch out even more. It was her head. Macy is gone. It's just hard to consider, since she and Patch have been essentially my only company over the last year other than Marie visiting and now staying with me.
Why? A ten year old dog that has never hurt anyone... But then that would let in the question of deserving things., and that's shaky ground these days, isn't it? And as to Marie... What's going to happen to her? What are her parents going to think if we have to... She's only sixteen, for goodness' sake. I can only play mother-and-friend to a certain extent. I... I need to go puke.
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...Honey you are not okay and something is very wrong right now. I want you either out here or me out there. You really need someone not 16 or puppy for company. I really don't get who, or what, would do that to your Macy, but it's simply not right. And I think we should spend some time together. I'm going to talk to the attachments out here and see what can be arranged either way. No, there's no telling me no when I've decided something. And that is that. You know as much.
ReplyDeleteAlso, the cryptic gray-scale text is cryptic.
I'm fine.
ReplyDeleteAnd yes, I know you know what that's code for, but don't worry. Please. Stay there. There's enough for me to deal with here, that you don't want to be a part of. I think Marie may be cutting, of all things now. If I don't reply for a bit it's because I'm talking to the kid. If nothing else, I know how that situation can be. But it's not acceptable right now, or ever.
You know I can't not worry. It's too late. I'm going to let you work out your stuff, but I can't let you go through whatever you're going through practically alone. I say practically because Marie is still someone. It's been a long time coming anyway, us spending some time not on the internet together.
ReplyDeleteI just don't want you drawn into this, Ti. I can't tell you what's going on right now, but believe me when I say I'm looking out for you here. Even though you want to look out for me too. I'm trying my best to deal with my stupid issues so that I can deal with this.
ReplyDeleteI just want you to not get hurt by things, Ti. I'm not sure what I'd do, okay? Marie blames herself already for what's happening here, even though it's not her fault. Not completely, at any rate. She's just a kid. You know how I am about friends. Just stay safe, okay, Tia? Stay safe, and stay smart.
Now, I'm going to go listen to music so I can calm down the rest of the way. Drowning in Always Look On te Bright Side of Life again sounds really good right now. And yeah... I miss you.
Alright. I'll give you some space, since whatever it is that's going on is freaking you out so much. I'm just going to let you know that if anything else happens that's "big" I'm coming out. Because two heads are better than one, unless one of those heads is phenomenally idiotic.
ReplyDeleteAnd drowning in musicals when you're stressed is always the proper response.
"Fine, He's there... I saw Him, or the shadow of Him before it blipped back into the shadows, or wherever it goes. Into the trees. Marie is burying the head in the garden as I write this up. Time to be a little more proactive, maybe. Yesterday, that Collector idiot found my blog through the one of those kids he's messing with. Today, one of my best, oldest friends was summarily slaughtered and left like a gift on my back stoop. Fine. Time to figure out a move to make. I'm not sure if it'll do any good, but pointlessness is not an option. Not trying is not the way to go."
ReplyDeleteI had a feeling He had shown up. Now, I have proof.