Monday, August 1, 2011


Tell me no more stories
And I'll tell you no lies
No one wants to hurt me
But everybody tries

Apparently I caused a little worry by my refusal to eat for the last few days. Believe me, if anyone can afford to go a few days without, it's me. I just couldn't keep anything but water and fruit juice down. I've forced myself to eat a little, though. Staying hydrated will only do you for so long. Probably not going to be eating much for a while, though. Everything tastes like I took the blowtorch to it for about an hour, but I need to keep my energy up, especially since I've been having trouble sleeping.

Other than that, I've just been painting still. I'm almost out of some colors, but I'll make do. It's funny how being in a bad situation can cause those disposed toward artistic endeavors to produce what some may call their finest work. What some might call their swan song. After all, the only really lucrative artist is a dead artist or a crazy artist. You can see where I'm going here.

I've quit my job at the thrift store. Sure, not giving a two weeks is going to look bad, but balls to it. I've got my main job to fall back on, and I don't have to leave Marie alone to do that. I knew going for that medical transcriptionist certification first was a good idea. Tia's still getting her ducks in a row, apparently.

I've been working on focusing on positive things, and it's been mostly quiet here for the last few days, other than some really messed up dreams that I don't feel like recording right now. Insomnia has become my friend again. I'm not taking much comfort in that fact, though.  Everything has its upswing and downswing.

It's been interesting, gathering and comparing different reports of these incidents, though. Someone could write a freaking thesis on this junk, not that anyone in the know would want to, unless it was... Never mind, that's a bad idea. Ignore that. I'm just going to go back to painting and cataloging things. God, I'm a nerd. I mean, really? A thesis? And the idea of doing a sociological paper on Runners as a subculture. Wow.


  1. A lot of that is what I've been doing, but less from a sociology perspective as from the perspective of trying to figure out what works. But yes, it is very interesting. As a subculture, we're unique.

    Take care of yourself, alright?

  2. Truth. My nerd is just showing. I've found some of the stuff you've written up fairly valuable so far. We'll see.

    I'm trying, promise. It's funny how it takes something like this to throw certain flaws into sharp contrast and make you work harder to try and deal with them. I'm sticking to my meds like a good girl, at least.

  3. Aww, she's growing a little bit of spine, she's growing up, she's trying to be strong, she's going to blame herself. When things go wrong, whose fault is it, Elisa?

    You know whose fault it always is.

    1. Why did no one tell this anon to go fuck themselves by now? I mean, FUCK. Useless little bastard.