Thursday, April 26, 2012

Good evening, sweethearts


Hey there, kids and kidettes. 


Right, you don't know me, do you? Well, it doesn't really matter, I guess. You know the chicas on this blog, so that counts for something. Those anonymous emails Lis was getting were coming from somewhere, though.


...


Okay, I was rudely interrupted there. Seriously, who's been teaching the shrimp to ... Right. Tia.  Fuckin' hot. Self-defense training, getting all sweaty and close together. Yum.


I mean, there's nothing like the thrill of an "ex" tackling you on a bed and shoving a gun up under your chin, amirite? Phoowee... Never expected little Miss Lissie to get a temper. Ain't that Tia's job or something? I mean, not that it's not nice to see, her acting all fiery. 


Tia had to drag her off of me. Now, I know it's kind of hard to resist sometimes, but that's no way to treat an old friend, is it? Especially one who's been sticking his neck out to drop some ideas in these pretty ladies' path.  Yeah, that was me. Whoop-de-shit. 


Right. A name. Names are kind of important, I guess. Jared's the name, and (insert cliche here) is the game. I'm just a drifter. A glorified hobo and someone who knows these chicas a bit. Hi. 


Lis is just a-fucking-fussing now. Quietly. I swear, I don't think the woman ever raises her voice. Even when she's saying she'll never forgive someone and so on. She'll forgive me. She always does. Tia's dealing with her right now, and I'm getting the stare-down from the kid. Nice to see him... her... Um. Yeah, anyway. Again.

Glad they managed to use the diversion to get out of the hospital when they did, anyway.  Yeah, hi... I'm the one that talked to the kidlet in the caf. Oooh~ Shocking, I know. Yeah, shit's been going down for a while.

Hi there, Sheppy, you sheep-fucking darling, did you miss me? I know you did, baby.

Peace out, Girl Scouts. 

17 comments:

  1. Jared, it's a bit rude to show up out of the blue, start making demands, and call Shep a sheep fucking darling. No matter how true or untrue your statements really are..

    Care to tell us where you've been?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh, honey, I know. My computer crashed. Finicky old thing that it is. Anyway, what's the fun in quashing a nature. Make an entrance and all that shit. Isn't that what they teach?

      Whoever "they" are. I've not talked to a "they" recently.

      Either way, as I said, glorified hobo. I'll talk about it soon enough. Lord knows Lissie-babe's going to grill me.

      Delete
    2. No interest in quashing your nature, I enjoy it.

      I want to know more, simple as that.

      Delete
    3. I'd be plenty glad to show you more of my nature, babe. Just name the time and place.

      ...Well. I did kind of want to keep an eye on the chicas and the kid for a bit. From more than a distance.

      Especially after the last few months.

      Delete
    4. Snerk. I'll keep that in mind, cutie.

      They need the help. You know this.

      Delete
    5. ...Yeah. Hence the emails I've been sending Lis. I know.

      I don't think this is completely my fault, their involvement, but I did ask Lissie-babe to look after Marie. I don't think that helped matters.

      Delete
  2. Toppled Knight? That make you a dead man?

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    Replies
    1. According to some, my feathered friend.

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    2. Rumors of your death, love, were greatly exaggerated.

      Delete
  3. I cannot believe you called me dollface...

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    Replies
    1. Aww, why? Would you prefer "pookie"?

      Delete
    2. And somehow that's even worse...y'know what, hun, raggedy, rags, kid, love, fuck it I'll even settled dollface compared to pookie-bear.

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    3. Excuse me while I laugh at you, Raggedy.

      Ahem.

      Ahahahahahahahahahaha!~ Thank you for that.

      Delete
  4. This is generally the part of the episode where Ricky Ricardo runs in shouting, "LUUUUUUCY! What did you DOOOO!?"

    Call it a guess, but I don't think I'm going to like you very much. Keep them from getting to the spirit healer somehow, and I say they shoot you.

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    Replies
    1. Nah, that's Konaa-boy's job, I think? And if you don't want to like me, that's your prerogative, man.

      As to getting Tia some help, why do you think I dragged my sorry ass out of the woodwork, Nicky-baby? Not to do a song-and-dance act, believe me.

      And Lis... Well, she's calmed down, but I wouldn't put it past her to kneecap me if I'm too much of an ass, at least at the moment. Tia.... That's not her style. The kid... I don't even know, man.

      Anyway, I can take care of myself, sweetheart.

      Delete