“Knowing your own darkness is the best method for dealing with the darknesses of other people”
Tuesday, April 3, 2012
Hospital smell
Yeah, I've been painting still. It helps me stay calm. Kailin's chilled out a little. We can't leave right now, and it's been enough trouble as it is to convince the staff that they shouldn't just kick me and Kailin out, because we're "not family".
...It's incredibly awkward to play the "I'm her girlfriend" card sometimes, even if it's true. Especially when you're not sure how people will react.
Tia's still in and out. There's very little coherency to her right now, and the doctors... There's something they're not saying at the moment. Still. I hate when people hide things.
I've honestly never been so... unnerved by a hospital, though. Maybe it's because of recent events. Maybe it's because I feel like I'm constantly being watched when I'm in the halls. Maybe it's because of that little girl I saw in the ER waiting room the other night with the dead, calculating eyes and the miswrought smile as her "father" fawned over her. Maybe it's the scratchings I see along the baseboards from the corner of my eye that aren't there when I look straight on.
Or maybe that's just the lack of sleep talking and those were all waking-dreams. Kailin went to talk to... someone in the cafeteria last night. I know that much. Zie's not telling who it was at the moment,but I have a suspiscion.
...I'm going to try to get a nap. I have to, or I'll be even more useless than usual.
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I like your picture. The rest of the world is so grey. And then there is your radiating light.
ReplyDeleteOh, that's not me. I'm nothing special.
DeleteOh, man, hospitals. Tell me about it. The smell of antiseptic, all the sick people around. Fuck, if I wasn't a hypochondriac before, I might be now.
ReplyDeleteYour drawing is very nice though. I wish I could draw that well.
Meh, I used to be around hospitals all the time as a kid. My mom was a nurse, so they don't generally bother me too much. They defintely have been recently, though.
DeleteAnd thanks. @@; It's an outlet. I never really finished going for my BFA or MFA, but... It's somethign I love doing.