I did actually use a vehicle to my advantage against some hoodie-clad zombie-esque mofos in a parking lot who were getting a little too personal with the girls. I'd do it again too.

Nothing was stolen. But losses in groceries were taken. Who the fuck jumps people at a 2 pm grocery run on a Friday afternoon? Who does that shit? People with no sense of criminal sense, that's who. I'm mostly perturbed by the fact that they didn't have the sense to wait until after dark than anything else.

I suppose that comes from city living; people get jumped all the time, it happens. That doesn't bug me. That they did it in the middle of the day? Totally irksome.


Also, driving 100 mph for about 10 hours straight will give you cramps, but get you far, far away.

We had some blue honda on the same stretch of highway for the first 6 hours of driving behind us, or occassionally in front of us. Before I started this madhouse roadtrip, I would've thought nothing of it. After this crazy road trip? I'm suspicious. We were going 100+, who the fuck keeps with that speed? So I took a random exit, drove like mad through some city's streets and lost them near the hotel heavy area, and then navigated back to the highway. I haven't seen the car since. I did have good sense enough to have Tia take down it's plates. They were CA plates.

I'm not sure if the sign of home is comforting or not.

Chapstick, Chapped Lips, and Things Like Chemistry

Things to not say while Running.
"What could go wrong?" Everything can go wrong.
"Things are looking good." Without appending "for the moment".
"Lookit what I can do!" Self-explanatory.
"Gun it."
"Let's go walk in the moonlight. It'll be romantic."

We went for a grocery run today, and of course, it went right sideways. Tia and I got jumped in the parking lot by some jerks in hoodies.  Elaine, August, Spencer, there may be a delay on those scarves. I may have left my crochet hook sticking out of someone's face.

I'm a bit concussed and scraped up, among other things, but nothing that's not livable.  Tia dealt with things rather a bit better, and Blake may have hit one of them with the Explorer when he came to pick us up from where he'd been parked. Oopsie.  I'm not sure how things are going at the moment, but I've cleaned and dealt with any other injuries. Talked them out of taking me to the ER unless I start acting really off. If one of the others wants to be more talkative about what happened, they can. Worst part... My eggs got smashed, so I can't fix what I wanted. We're driving again anyway. Heh.

It's funny, in a sad way...  I'm seeing so much more than I ever have, and so much more clearly. I've been a lucky, lucky girl, no matter what incidents have befallen me, they're not worth anyone's worry or stress. I just wish... I wish I could do more.

There are locks on the doors
 And chains stretched across all the entries to the inside
 There's a gate and a fence
 And bars to protect from only God knows what lurks outside

Time

Another responsibility of mine was left behind today. I seem to be making a habit of abandoning those who rely on me, even if it's for the better. Even if this might be seen as a little meodramatic, as he'll hopefully be better off with a new family. One who won't drag him across the country while being chased by eldritch abominations and psychos. Hope. It's a good thing some days.

Geez, I'm such a child sometimes.

On to the next.

...Sorry. Again.

Note to self: Stop posting things directly after waking up and while meds are no longer in your system. It ends badly.

I...I'm doing better. I'm sorry for the post earlier. Really, terribly sorry. To explain a bit more, I was talking about my mother. As I've said before, she died in a car wreck on the way home from work. She was a nurse, however pointless that fact is. All the reports of her death and all of the police reports claimed it was a hit and run. They said a drunk driver hit her, ran her off the road, she was torn from the car when it flipped and sustained severe internal injuries. I'm not sure what to believe anymore.

I dreamed again last night. I dreamed that I was watching my mother at work, a child had come in with a burn on his torso in the shape of an elongated hand that trailed all the way up to his neck. A symbol carved into his chest. She made calls, did everything she could for the kid.

I wasn't there, but I was there. The crying parents, the empty look in the child's eyes.  Broken. She saw it, too. She was nervous. She didn't know. She didn't see why she was nervous, but she knew it was wrong.

Then we were in the car. Driving, heading home. She was singing along with the radio, as always, keeping an eye out for deer. And then I heard it. Static. The sound warping and tearing and the world denying this presence that was there. A figure in the road. Why is it always in the road? She tried to stop. She didn't know what she was seeing. I hope.

And suddenly, there were black tendrils cutting through the windshield like it was water breaking it oh so easily, tearing her from the still-running car, and shoving it aside and off of the road like some kind of toy. The screaming. She was screaming, why didn't anyone see or hear? You'd think, you'd think. you'd think... I saw. The world was warping.

...It's funny in a morbid way. They said there were very few external injuries. There should have been. So much blood slickign the pavement. There should have been more visible injuries.

She had done nothing but try to help a child. She had done nothing to deserve this. She saved me from my own father. She saved me from myself.

Maybe if I say this was just a dream enough times, I'll actually believe it. Maybe I'll stop puking and maybe I'll stop seeing her stricken, panicked face every time I close my eyes. Maybes are fun things, huh?

Tia and Blake have barely left my side since earlier...

The world is getting weirder. Darker every single day. Things are spinning around faster and faster, and threatening to go completely awry. Falcons and falconers. The center cannot hold.

It's spreading.

They said it was a hit and run. They said it was a drunk driver. No witnesses.
I... It was just a dream. Just a dream. If I deny it enough, maybe I'll believe it. Maybe. Maybe. Maybe.

Slightly Delirious Posting

Rough coughing nightly
This sickness is far from kind
Feel like vomitting.


*


Barely left the inn
Total bill for our take-out?
Way too goddamn high.


*


Need to make money
Working on a few edits.
Writer's annoy me.


*


Be positive T,
Try to look on the bright side
...Is there a bright side?


*


I don't know why I felt the need to write my current state of mind in depressive and dire haiku. It seemed like a good idea ay the time. Of course, I'm still in a half sleep daze, so clearly I'm not the best judge of what's a good idea and what's not.

Just keep on rolling

We're in a new hotel in a new town in a new state. Saw our favorite burn victim lurking around the other night and we decided it was time to move on. Hello again, Crispy. I don't know if you have a name or some sort of designation, and at this point, I frankly don't care.

A note about the previous post, the one from from whoever is using Marie's account. When I came rushing back home from college due to my mother's wreck and having to deal with all of that, I looked for our old photo albums. I turned the whole house upside down looking for them. They were't there. Three photo albums and approximately four hundred pictures, just missing. I thought my mom got rid of them due to certain events, but I guess I was wrong.I honestly don't want to have been wrong, because that just... Well, it adds another, different sort of creepy to the mix, doesn't it?

It's something that needs to be pursued, but right now, we're just focusing on getting by and dealing with the day to day insanities of this situation. Tall Dark and Creepy's been around as well, usually just watching. There one second and gone the next, like some sort of trick of the eye. Except you know by now that it isn't. You know by now that the things you see moving in the edges of your vision are at times real, and you know that they can see more of you than you can even see of yourself.

But you just keep going and keep resisting, because that's what counts some days. The ability to be stubborn and rebel against the roles you are set in. The ability to fight against the supposed fate somoeone has laid into your path. Maybe free will, as some claim, is an illusion, but you  cling to it with all of your might, and fight for it. You fight for the things that matter, the things that are worth something. If you're lucky, maybe you find those things that matter enough to fight for.

...Look at me, getting all psuedo-philosophical. Sweet baby Jesus on a pogo stick, I need to shut up before I dig myself a bigger hole to lie down in. Not like anyone gives a care about my ramblings.

Tia and Blake are keeping an even closer eye on me than usual after last night. I'm... I'm fine. For a given value of fine. I dreamed again last night, and woke up on a scream, drenched in sweat and my face covered in blood. Self-inflicted bleeding, at least. I clawed the facemask off in my sleep again and sliced open my cheek. It's not deep, just annoying...

I'm not sure why people read this, at the moment, but thanks for those who do care on one level or another. Really, it means more than you know. In fact, I barely know how to read. I don't even know what I'm typing right now. I'm just hitting random letters and punctuation and hoping it fools everyone fishcakes; saddlebag me dingo.

The jig, it is up.

Yeah. I've got to go. Feeling sick again, and I have some work to do and music to listen to.