Tuesday, March 6, 2012

Goodbyes

Death comes so often for those who don't even come close to deserving it.

Some people say they want to just forget things. They want to just forget anything bad has ever happened. Even if I could, I wouldn't. No matter how much it hurts, no matter what happens to me personally, I want to always remember the people I've met during this time of my life. No matter how terrible the other memories I'm stuck with are, I want to remember. They deserve that much. They deserve so much more, but I'm just me. As ineffectual and unfortunate as ever.

"Someone" left the scarf I gave August on the doorstep of our hotel room this morning. The golden yellow of the yarn was dark and stained with his blood... It's soaking in the sink right now.

For once I almost can't say "If I'd only done this one thing, something differently..." Doesn't stop the guilt, though. Irrational and stupid, I know. Seems to be a usual thing for me, being irrational and stupid.

I'm okay. I'm always okay. Heh.

Your soul glowed, August. See you later, kid. I hate goodbyes.
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10 comments:

  1. SwanMarch 6, 2012 at 6:40 PM

    You could always paint something for him if you think you can make something in his memory that you wouldn't have to burn.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. FidgetyLissieMarch 6, 2012 at 7:40 PM

      Maybe... I'll look into it... When I'm able.

      Delete
    2. FidgetyLissieMarch 7, 2012 at 9:40 AM

      Found the sketches I had already. Probably not going to post them, though.

      Delete
    3. SwanMarch 7, 2012 at 3:08 PM

      Whatever you like. I just thought it was a nice thought.

      Delete
  2. ChristinaSphinxMarch 6, 2012 at 9:57 PM

    You're a beautiful person. So noble. So thoughtful.

    there are so many thing's i'd forget if i could.

    i guess you're braver than me.

    I'm sorry for the loss. Wish that i could help.
    All i can say is i'm thinking about you. hoping for the best.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. FidgetyLissieMarch 6, 2012 at 11:46 PM

      I'm not. Really.
      Thanks, though...

      Delete
    2. ChristinaSphinxMarch 7, 2012 at 5:54 PM

      You're like me arent you? you won't take a compliment because you dont beleive its true.

      Delete
  3. bondieMarch 7, 2012 at 10:57 PM

    Oh wow. I didn't know him but iut seems like a lot of people are going lately and that's really awful. I'm so sorry lis this is really sad and if you need to talk you can email me more often. I'm going to try and be on more.

    -bondie

    ReplyDelete
  4. The SkepticMarch 10, 2012 at 1:05 PM

    To be pretentious and obtuse: Nullus dolor est quem non longinquitas temporis minuat ac molliat.

    Or perhaps a different quote: The only cure for grief is action.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Adam GraysonMarch 10, 2012 at 10:53 PM

    I never really knew him, nor have I fully read that blog but...my sympathies as well. He sounded like a good man.

    ReplyDelete

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